(For @DickMandrake. Written by Jan Moir.)
The nation this week was left in shock after the death of DickMandrake, a promising science student killed after an eccentric billionaire let a pack of wolves loose in a crowded supermarket as DickMandrake was doing his weekly shop.
While the loss of a young life is undoubtedly heartbreaking, we must ask ourselves what the real cause of DickMandrake's death was. To blame the wolves, or the billionaire who let them free is to stick our heads in the sand - something we must not do, no matter how tempting.
The fact is, DickMandrake was a fan of Doctor Who, a programme made and aired by the ultraleft BBC. While the left ignore the truth, and blindly blame the 'official' cause of DickMandrake's death, we must look at his wider lifestyle, which was undoubtedly an influence on his demise.
People may question this, but we must look at the statistics. No people who didn't watch the BBC have been killed by wolves in the past thirty years. It is high time this organisation was held to account for its role in this whole tragedy.
Wednesday 23 February 2011
Tuesday 15 February 2011
The Liberal Agenda Claims Another Victim
(For @RealJackBarker. Written by Melanie Phillips.)
This week saw the awful death of RealJackBarker, an English Business Management graduate living in Canada, who was killed by a falling tree while he was volunteering for an environmental organisation.
His death is ultimately awful because it is yet another reminder of the price that our once-great nation's children are paying for New Labour's disgusting experimentation with exposing them to immoral and dangerous ways of life, while they were still young enough to be sucked in by their pernicious influence. Indeed, RealJackBarker himself was a card-carrying member of the Labour party, showing just how their policies had affected him deeply.
The simple facts are this: Labour spent their thirteen years in government recklessly and ruthlessly brainwashing our children into accepting their own twisted 'moralities' - a task that the current government seem hell-bent on steaming ahead with, despite all sane and rational people disagreeing with them. This is to their eternal shame.
This twin assault of liberal politics and eco-fascism was what led RealJackBarker to Canada and ultimately, to his death.
Make no mistake, these evil and morally-vacuous policies of the left do much more than condemn the emotional wellbeing of our children, and lead to their godlessness and degeneracy (RealJackBarker was a declared 'atheist'). They also pave the way for the infliction of Sharia law upon us all. Our future generations, bound and gagged by the ties of 'multiculturalism' and 'tolerance' will be able to do nothing as the river of extremist Islam swells and bursts it's banks, bringing forth a tide of second-century rules that we will all be forced to live by.
It is for this reason that we must strengthen our dams by removing the foul 'equality' legislation being forced down our throats by the government and advocate a return to the biblical morals and ways of society, before we are all doomed.
This week saw the awful death of RealJackBarker, an English Business Management graduate living in Canada, who was killed by a falling tree while he was volunteering for an environmental organisation.
His death is ultimately awful because it is yet another reminder of the price that our once-great nation's children are paying for New Labour's disgusting experimentation with exposing them to immoral and dangerous ways of life, while they were still young enough to be sucked in by their pernicious influence. Indeed, RealJackBarker himself was a card-carrying member of the Labour party, showing just how their policies had affected him deeply.
The simple facts are this: Labour spent their thirteen years in government recklessly and ruthlessly brainwashing our children into accepting their own twisted 'moralities' - a task that the current government seem hell-bent on steaming ahead with, despite all sane and rational people disagreeing with them. This is to their eternal shame.
This twin assault of liberal politics and eco-fascism was what led RealJackBarker to Canada and ultimately, to his death.
Make no mistake, these evil and morally-vacuous policies of the left do much more than condemn the emotional wellbeing of our children, and lead to their godlessness and degeneracy (RealJackBarker was a declared 'atheist'). They also pave the way for the infliction of Sharia law upon us all. Our future generations, bound and gagged by the ties of 'multiculturalism' and 'tolerance' will be able to do nothing as the river of extremist Islam swells and bursts it's banks, bringing forth a tide of second-century rules that we will all be forced to live by.
It is for this reason that we must strengthen our dams by removing the foul 'equality' legislation being forced down our throats by the government and advocate a return to the biblical morals and ways of society, before we are all doomed.
Fried Tomatoes!
(For @NellRawlinson. Written by Richard Littlejohn.)
This week one of my readers sent me the story of a woman who was electrocuted in Poland after she drop-kicked a tomato into a faulty fuse box.
Quite what the little lady thought she was doing, I don't know - but we know how much they love their vodka over there, don't we?
At least we know why the fuse box was faulty - all the Polish electricians are over here being showered with benefits and not having to lift a finger. I'm just waiting for her family to sue the UK now under some ridiculous 'yuman rites' law.
You couldn't make it up.
This week one of my readers sent me the story of a woman who was electrocuted in Poland after she drop-kicked a tomato into a faulty fuse box.
Quite what the little lady thought she was doing, I don't know - but we know how much they love their vodka over there, don't we?
At least we know why the fuse box was faulty - all the Polish electricians are over here being showered with benefits and not having to lift a finger. I'm just waiting for her family to sue the UK now under some ridiculous 'yuman rites' law.
You couldn't make it up.
Wednesday 9 February 2011
Teenager Dies After Listening To 'Emo' Music
(For @LissyNumber. Written by Daily Mail Reporter.)
A teenager was killed in London yesterday after being hit by a speeding, out of control bus, the driver of which had fallen asleep at the wheel after he had been forced to take two jobs.
The teenager, named locally as LissyNumber, apparently failed to hear the bus careering wildly towards her as she was listening to 'emo' music on her iPod. A friend said: "It all happened in seconds. There is no possibility that she could have got out of the way".
Since gaining popularity in the last decade, 'emo' music has been blamed for the deaths of hundreds of teenagers all over the globe. Just last week in America, a teenager was killed by an axe-wielding maniac as he listened to All Time Low, one of the more popular 'emo' bands.
The Mothers Against Despicable Emos United Party pressure group issued a press release which said: "Once again, a young person has been taken from us because of the sickening death-cult which surrounds emo music. We must stay strong and fight against the foul influence of this sickening music. Hopefully now the government will begin to take us seriously, and finally outlaw it. LissyNumber should be the last teenager to suffer this fate."
A teenager was killed in London yesterday after being hit by a speeding, out of control bus, the driver of which had fallen asleep at the wheel after he had been forced to take two jobs.
The teenager, named locally as LissyNumber, apparently failed to hear the bus careering wildly towards her as she was listening to 'emo' music on her iPod. A friend said: "It all happened in seconds. There is no possibility that she could have got out of the way".
Since gaining popularity in the last decade, 'emo' music has been blamed for the deaths of hundreds of teenagers all over the globe. Just last week in America, a teenager was killed by an axe-wielding maniac as he listened to All Time Low, one of the more popular 'emo' bands.
The Mothers Against Despicable Emos United Party pressure group issued a press release which said: "Once again, a young person has been taken from us because of the sickening death-cult which surrounds emo music. We must stay strong and fight against the foul influence of this sickening music. Hopefully now the government will begin to take us seriously, and finally outlaw it. LissyNumber should be the last teenager to suffer this fate."
Tuesday 8 February 2011
The Left Cannot Go On Like This
(For @jdthndr. Written by Melanie Phillips.)
This week saw the death of student Jdthndr, found asphyxiated at his halls of residence. There has been much hand-wringing on the left, who are demanding that a 'murderer' is caught, while once again neglecting to mention the real dangers to today's society.
The fact is, Jdthndr was in his twenties and lived alone. Although the left dare not mention it, we know what that means in the over-liberal and permissive universities of this age.
Even the police are indoctrinated in the culture of denialism propagated by the left, claiming there was a "break in" and that they are treating his death as "suspicious". Well I, and every right-minded member of society are suspicious.
What we shouldn't be suspicious of are so-called "murderers", but the constant efforts made by the "liberal" left to stifle debate over the islamification of this country.
Jdthndr has been described as a victim in this case, and he was. Growing up under the New-Labour government, he was exposed to the seedy underside of life in a continuous stream throughout his education, which undoubtedly warped his mind to such an extent that, instead of growing up as a normal, heterosexual man with a girlfriend, he died while indulging in a disgusting act of homosexual self-gratification, despite what the police might say.
For too long, the fascists of the authoritarian left have eroded true values in this country, in collusion with extremist Islam, at the expense of our youth. They are denying them the opportunity to grow up as decent human beings, instead making them all guinea pigs in this sick experiment under the twin mastheads of "equality" and "tolerance", whilst at the same time discriminating against anyone who is not a gay, asylum seeking, muslim pervert.
This week saw the death of student Jdthndr, found asphyxiated at his halls of residence. There has been much hand-wringing on the left, who are demanding that a 'murderer' is caught, while once again neglecting to mention the real dangers to today's society.
The fact is, Jdthndr was in his twenties and lived alone. Although the left dare not mention it, we know what that means in the over-liberal and permissive universities of this age.
Even the police are indoctrinated in the culture of denialism propagated by the left, claiming there was a "break in" and that they are treating his death as "suspicious". Well I, and every right-minded member of society are suspicious.
What we shouldn't be suspicious of are so-called "murderers", but the constant efforts made by the "liberal" left to stifle debate over the islamification of this country.
Jdthndr has been described as a victim in this case, and he was. Growing up under the New-Labour government, he was exposed to the seedy underside of life in a continuous stream throughout his education, which undoubtedly warped his mind to such an extent that, instead of growing up as a normal, heterosexual man with a girlfriend, he died while indulging in a disgusting act of homosexual self-gratification, despite what the police might say.
For too long, the fascists of the authoritarian left have eroded true values in this country, in collusion with extremist Islam, at the expense of our youth. They are denying them the opportunity to grow up as decent human beings, instead making them all guinea pigs in this sick experiment under the twin mastheads of "equality" and "tolerance", whilst at the same time discriminating against anyone who is not a gay, asylum seeking, muslim pervert.
Pull The Other One, It's Got Indicators On!
(For @latentexistence. Written by Richard Littlejohn.)
This week's 'Mind How You Go' is the story of Latentexistence, who was knocked off his motorcycle by a bin wagon and killed on Tuesday.
The Mad Mullahs of the Traffic Taliban are trying to claim this is because the bin wagon was turning a corner in a notorious blackspot for accidents involving motorcyclists.
Now they want to put up safety measures at a cost of £8.4 million, paid for by an EU 'elf and safety grant.
Local "diversity chiefs" are subcontracting the work to transvestite, asylum-seeking gypsies, because the Euro-nazis have decreed it would be against their "yuman rights" not to do so.
They'll be wanting to ban bin wagons next. You couldn't make it up.
This week's 'Mind How You Go' is the story of Latentexistence, who was knocked off his motorcycle by a bin wagon and killed on Tuesday.
The Mad Mullahs of the Traffic Taliban are trying to claim this is because the bin wagon was turning a corner in a notorious blackspot for accidents involving motorcyclists.
Now they want to put up safety measures at a cost of £8.4 million, paid for by an EU 'elf and safety grant.
Local "diversity chiefs" are subcontracting the work to transvestite, asylum-seeking gypsies, because the Euro-nazis have decreed it would be against their "yuman rights" not to do so.
They'll be wanting to ban bin wagons next. You couldn't make it up.
Woman Killed For Failure To Integrate Into Big Society
(For my Twitter-mum, @amocor. Written by Daily Mail Reporter)
A woman has been murdered in a savage attack in a library in Rochdale.
The woman, Amocor, was brutally beaten to death with an antique candlestick.
Police have arrested a teacher, Mr Plum, who was a professor of art at the local high school. Regarded by his pupils as "eccentric" and a "weirdo" because of his love of subversive art such as that by David Hockney, a known homosexual, his motives are unknown.
Amocor was known in her local community for the fact that she had cats. Research by Winalot recently showed that people who owned cats, rather than dogs, were over 8,000,000% more likely to be a victim of violent crime.
A neighbour, who did not wish to be named, said: "We were well aware that Amocor kept cats. We read the warning about violent crime when the Mail published it and tried to warn her, but she wouldn't listen. We think that one of the cats might have been an Albanian cat over here for the benefits too, it's a bit swarthy looking".
Amocor's local MP, a Conservative back bencher, said: "This shows that our commitment to close libraries must come to fruition sooner rather than later. Today, a woman was murdered. Tomorrow, a working class child may get ideas above their station. Who knows where the madness will end?".
A woman has been murdered in a savage attack in a library in Rochdale.
The woman, Amocor, was brutally beaten to death with an antique candlestick.
Police have arrested a teacher, Mr Plum, who was a professor of art at the local high school. Regarded by his pupils as "eccentric" and a "weirdo" because of his love of subversive art such as that by David Hockney, a known homosexual, his motives are unknown.
Amocor was known in her local community for the fact that she had cats. Research by Winalot recently showed that people who owned cats, rather than dogs, were over 8,000,000% more likely to be a victim of violent crime.
A neighbour, who did not wish to be named, said: "We were well aware that Amocor kept cats. We read the warning about violent crime when the Mail published it and tried to warn her, but she wouldn't listen. We think that one of the cats might have been an Albanian cat over here for the benefits too, it's a bit swarthy looking".
Amocor's local MP, a Conservative back bencher, said: "This shows that our commitment to close libraries must come to fruition sooner rather than later. Today, a woman was murdered. Tomorrow, a working class child may get ideas above their station. Who knows where the madness will end?".
What's all this about then?
Earlier today, I wrote a post on Forty Shades Of Grey, imagining how the Daily Mail would write about me if I were to die tragically. After a while, a few people on Twitter asked me to write them one, so I did (I'll admit, I was a bit bored at work).
Now, I would like to open the site by saying that in parodying the appalling way that the Daily Mail deals with death, I am in no way forgetting about the real people to whom this happens. A couple of years ago, someone I knew passed away and the Mail pulled their usual shite. I've seen what they do to the family and friends of the deceased.
Now, on to the question on all your lips: Can I get my own Daily Mail death article?
Yes, of course! (Depending on how much spare time/inclination I have at any given moment)
What you need to do is to:
1. Get in touch with me on Twitter (@NatalieDzerins), or on Facebook. If you do not use these, post a comment under this post.
2. You MUST tell me who you would like to write about your death. You can choose from Liz Jones, Richard Littlejohn, Melanie Phillips, Amanda Platell, Jan Moir, Janet Street Porter and Daily Mail Reporter.
3. You MUST tell me the manner of your death - frankly, it feels a bit creepy imagining demises for people.
4. If you want, tell me some things about yourself. Marital status, job, housing status, hobbies, anything you might think the Mail would pick up on. I can make things more personal this way.
Enjoy!
Now, I would like to open the site by saying that in parodying the appalling way that the Daily Mail deals with death, I am in no way forgetting about the real people to whom this happens. A couple of years ago, someone I knew passed away and the Mail pulled their usual shite. I've seen what they do to the family and friends of the deceased.
Now, on to the question on all your lips: Can I get my own Daily Mail death article?
Yes, of course! (Depending on how much spare time/inclination I have at any given moment)
What you need to do is to:
1. Get in touch with me on Twitter (@NatalieDzerins), or on Facebook. If you do not use these, post a comment under this post.
2. You MUST tell me who you would like to write about your death. You can choose from Liz Jones, Richard Littlejohn, Melanie Phillips, Amanda Platell, Jan Moir, Janet Street Porter and Daily Mail Reporter.
3. You MUST tell me the manner of your death - frankly, it feels a bit creepy imagining demises for people.
4. If you want, tell me some things about yourself. Marital status, job, housing status, hobbies, anything you might think the Mail would pick up on. I can make things more personal this way.
Enjoy!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)