(For @NellRawlinson. Written by Richard Littlejohn.)
This week one of my readers sent me the story of a woman who was electrocuted in Poland after she drop-kicked a tomato into a faulty fuse box.
Quite what the little lady thought she was doing, I don't know - but we know how much they love their vodka over there, don't we?
At least we know why the fuse box was faulty - all the Polish electricians are over here being showered with benefits and not having to lift a finger. I'm just waiting for her family to sue the UK now under some ridiculous 'yuman rites' law.
You couldn't make it up.