(For @LissyNumber. Written by Daily Mail Reporter.)
A teenager was killed in London yesterday after being hit by a speeding, out of control bus, the driver of which had fallen asleep at the wheel after he had been forced to take two jobs.
The teenager, named locally as LissyNumber, apparently failed to hear the bus careering wildly towards her as she was listening to 'emo' music on her iPod. A friend said: "It all happened in seconds. There is no possibility that she could have got out of the way".
Since gaining popularity in the last decade, 'emo' music has been blamed for the deaths of hundreds of teenagers all over the globe. Just last week in America, a teenager was killed by an axe-wielding maniac as he listened to All Time Low, one of the more popular 'emo' bands.
The Mothers Against Despicable Emos United Party pressure group issued a press release which said: "Once again, a young person has been taken from us because of the sickening death-cult which surrounds emo music. We must stay strong and fight against the foul influence of this sickening music. Hopefully now the government will begin to take us seriously, and finally outlaw it. LissyNumber should be the last teenager to suffer this fate."